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General => General Discussion and ??? => Topic started by: Gilligan on February 27, 2012, 01:33:54 PM
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So... I have a friend/employee that does everything for us. He cleans the house, mows the grass... anything and everything.
Well, while we were on our cruise he was watching over the house. Well, he went to the gay bar and picked up a guy and brought him to our house. I've expressed to him I never wanted this sort of thing to happen (I obviously don't like people in my house that I don't know well).
Well, we got back and I went to go to work today and I noticed two of our handguns were missing from the closet (plain sight)... one was brought home from the office so in case the shop got broken in while we were gone it wouldn't get stolen (ironic I know).
Now... my friend is a trust worthy guy and he made a mistake (a BIG one). He at first lied and said he didn't bring anyone in the house... but after I laid it all out that he is the ONLY one with a key that was home (everyone else was with us on the cruise), he admitted that he did bring someone in. He of course doesn't know anything about the guy.
Obviously I have called the cops, he is sitting right here waiting for them to arrive so he can tell whatever he has to tell. The wife is going back to check on everything else that could have been grabbed easily without my friend seeing. One of the guns was sitting on my wife's jewelry box so he possibly easily grabbed that also.
My issue is how do I handle my friendship/working relationship with this guy?
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Not a tough choice at all. He violated YOUR trust. I would kick his butt to the curb and start looking for a new friend. What's to say this guy didn't like the other things he saw and won't be coming back later...armed.
He screwed up and not in a "hey, I backed into your car" type of a way.
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Not a tough choice at all. He violated YOUR trust. I would kick his butt to the curb and start looking for a new friend. What's to say this guy didn't like the other things he saw and won't be coming back later...armed.
He screwed up and not in a "hey, I backed into your car" type of a way.
Even if something didn't end up missing and you found out he had a stranger in your house I'd look for another friend. My mind would go numb trying to fathom all the personal space he let a stranger have a field day with. Not to mention bodily fluids etc lol get out the black light!
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Not a tough choice at all. He violated YOUR trust. I would kick his butt to the curb and start looking for a new friend. What's to say this guy didn't like the other things he saw and won't be coming back later...armed.
He screwed up and not in a "hey, I backed into your car" type of a way.
Even if something didn't end up missing and you found out he had a stranger in your house I'd look for another friend. My mind would go numb trying to fathom all the personal space he let a stranger have a field day with. Not to mention bodily fluids etc lol get out the black light!
The freindship would be toast but first I'd make him disinfect the entire house without pay.
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Even if something didn't end up missing and you found out he had a stranger in your house I'd look for another friend. My mind would go numb trying to fathom all the personal space he let a stranger have a field day with. Not to mention bodily fluids etc lol get out the black light!
Ewwwww..... I just threw up in my mouth. I agree though.
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I also believe that as a gun owner, you have some responsibility making yours a little harder to make it to the street!
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You can still remain friends but let him know all trust is gone and may never return.
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Frog is correct on that one. If you were going out of town, why didn't you lock up your guns? Do you own a gun safe?
I wouldn't be friends with him anymore. That's too much, an accident is one thing, but he made a conscience decision to bring a person over to the house, that person ended up stealing a gun.
Sorry, but this is an easy call for me. And my wife will tell you I am a pretty darn forgiving person, but when it pushes me over the line, you're done.
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I'm with a few of the posts here--if I were in this situation I can't speak for the friendship, but there would be no more working relationship, unless there were real offers to make everything as right as possible. Did he offer to pay for everything stolen? How do you know he wasn't just in on the cut? I was once of the persuasion that I don't trust most people any further than I can throw them... then I started thinking about how far I can throw people.
I'm with Frog and mk162 as well--if you replace the guns at least get a quality gun safe and hide it well. It wouldn't hurt to hide it bolted to an unusually sturdy part of the house...
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We had our home broken into last year and its a scary feeling, but for smeone to just walk in freely and finger shop and hey why did he not go to his own home with this guy and then I would have to really clean my house and what the hell was he doing in your bedroom !!!!
Darryl
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What happens if that gun kills someone and it gets traced back to you? :-\
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you'll need to report it stolen ASAP.
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He just turned in his key.
This sucks... the wife and I are pretty much 100% eye to eye on this. He f'd up and then lied about it. We both hate that it happened at the same time because he is a really good guy and he just screwed up. But like you guys, I can't stand when someone betrays my trust. I don't even like it when a friend brings a friend into my house when I'm THERE!
I think he would work off the "damages", but I don't think we will pursue that, I don't think my wife wants him around at all. I'm with her, I'm just a very forgiving person... but the lies just don't sit with me.
He's had a key to my house for over a year and comes and goes taking care of house work day in and day out and never has as much as taken a penny from us. Just a huge lapse in judgment.
As far as the guns go... well, I did bring one home from work so it wouldn't be left at the unattended office for a week... I assume my bedroom is secure... I sleep there you know. Gun safe would be nice for these types of situation but I wouldn't use it for the guns on a regular basis as I want quick easy access to them if I were to need them.
They won't be traced back to me because they are reported stolen and actually if anyone gets stopped or anything they will run the numbers and they are in the national crime database so they SHOULD come up. Still need to get the serial number for one of them (it was 11 years old) but the gun store where it was purchased is still open so they have it on file.
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I'd wash your sheets.
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I'd wash your sheets.
Nevermind this, I'd actually throw the sheets out and buy new ones.
My guess is he wasn't just showing the guy around.
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Three things
you friend is not your friend when he takes advantage of you
you friend violated your truse and very possibly gave a total stranger complete access to your life, idenity, everything personal and potentially exposed your family to an unhealthy life changing health condition.
CHANGE YOUR LOCKS, REPORT YOUR CREDIT CARDS COMPROIMISED AND GET NEW #,S AGAINST YOU CURRENT ACCOUNT BUT AT LEAST FREEZE YOUR ACCOUNTS
Listen to your wife she is the only one thinking with a clear head and common sense.....the friend is GONE period.
mooseman
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So sorry to hear, it sucks to be betrayed by a friend. One, as you have already done, he's gone, no ifs, ands or buts. Reminds me of the saying "Familiarity breeds contempt". You can forgive him, which is good for your soul, and forget about harboring bad feelings about it, but historically, it happened, and you can't change that. Sorry to hear, and like Frog said, keep them guns locked up tight if you're not around.
Steve
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What happens if that gun kills someone and it gets traced back to you? :-\
It's not so much a matter of getting it traced back and getting in trouble. For myself, it would be the guilt of living with the knowledge that I'd been careless with a gun and it was used in a crime or to shoot someone.
Get a gun safe. I got one from Home Depot when they had them for around $350 and screwed it to the floor with 3/8" lag screws. Whenever we leave the house the guns are locked up along with what jewelry we have.
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I'd wash your sheets.
He already did... he was a good maid/employee. :(
For the record his MO was giving oral pleasure, so I'm 95% certain nothing else happened in there than that. Part of me wishes he hadn't washed anything, there would be more DNA evidence to say who this guy is.
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I'd wash your sheets.
He already did... he was a good maid/employee. :(
For the record his MO was giving oral pleasure, so I'm 95% certain nothing else happened in there than that. Part of me wishes he hadn't washed anything, there would be more DNA evidence to say who this guy is.
I don't even know what to say...I'm almost speechless...talk about a sentence I never thought I'd read on ANY forum I belong to, much less the ones about screen printing, CLAUDE HAVE MERCY!!! I have to wipe up the Dr Pepper from my desk since I was reading that while taking a nice drink.
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I'm sending you a bill for cleaning the puke off my desk....
hey Al - Dr. Pepper? . . . .yeah I was eating a banana. . . . I loose. . .
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I'm sending you a bill for cleaning the puke off my desk....
hey Al - Dr. Pepper? . . . .yeah I was eating a banana. . . . I loose. . .
What a difference in health, you're eating a mid afternoon banana and I'm chugging a 20oz bottle of caffeinated sugar, looks like you will win in the long run my friend.
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He, apparently is not the only one fond of "bananas"
Gilly, hasn't DS come back yet? sheesh!
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Yeah, I'M the only one talking about this sort of thing... you guys are the one talking about burning bed sheets and such.
You guys should have come hang out at my shop when he was still around... he was a funny guy and had no problems hitting on anyone and everyone... he is basically the poster child for the extreme right's view of what homosexuals are like.
Oh well, he's gone now. Sucks to lose a good employee over such a stupid mistake... that's my only issue with it, how many of us haven't done something really stupid at some point. Not taking up for him in anyway, just the devil's advocate that plays out in my head.
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I would be taking a trip to the old gay bar with him. Ring a few necks and get the answer to who that F'r was. Somebody knows that douche bag. They wont tell the cops but they will tell you when they think their ass is getting kicked.
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if he was an employee first and then became friends, of pretty much all the circumstances I am aware of the employee friendship thing doesn't work....doesnt matter how long...they WILL eff up.....I know I am a downer but seen it happen a ton..
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I've found the more you help employees on a personal level, the more they burn you in the end.
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if he was an employee first and then became friends, of pretty much all the circumstances I am aware of the employee friendship thing doesn't work....doesnt matter how long...they WILL eff up.....I know I am a downer but seen it happen a ton..
It all happened together... he started working for me and helping out above and beyond what was asked of him.
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there is no way this post can be real. Absolutely no way.
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Sounds like this is the post John has been waiting for his whole life ;D
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there is no way this post can be real. Absolutely no way.
dude, I will never eat a banana again without thinking I'm giving it a hummer. . .this post has wrecked my life. . . ;D
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Yeah, I'M the only one talking about this sort of thing... you guys are the one talking about burning bed sheets and such.
You guys should have come hang out at my shop when he was still around... he was a funny guy and had no problems hitting on anyone and everyone... he is basically the poster child for the extreme right's view of what homosexuals are like.
Oh well, he's gone now. Sucks to lose a good employee over such a stupid mistake... that's my only issue with it, how many of us haven't done something really stupid at some point. Not taking up for him in anyway, just the devil's advocate that plays out in my head.
I am not anti gay and I support gay rights for rights but the type that hits on everything that moves especially myself is the type that gets a five knuckle sandwich every time. I know some do it for humor sake but I dislike it immensely and usually give one warning and one warning only.
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Hitting on everything that moves is irritating no matter what your preferences are.
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He does respect it if you ask him to stop.
He's not looking to irritate anyone, he's just having fun.
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there is no way this post can be real. Absolutely no way.
dude, I will never eat a banana again without thinking I'm giving it a hummer. . .this post has wrecked my life. . . ;D
I bet you liked pickles too... ;D
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What happens if that gun kills someone and it gets traced back to you? :-\
I'd feel bad. Same as if my car got stolen or a knife or hammer or chain saw or anything else and it was used to kill someone. You should not be any more responsible for a stolen gun than any other object. Remember they all are all inanimate objects that require someone else to use them in order to kill someone.
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What happens if that gun kills someone and it gets traced back to you? :-\
I'd feel bad. Same as if my car got stolen or a knife or hammer or chain saw or anything else and it was used to kill someone. You should not be any more responsible for a stolen gun than any other object. Remember they all are all inanimate objects that require someone else to use them in order to kill someone.
Exactly... my wife can't stand the fact that her gun may be used for something like that... but the gun is not doing the crime. You can kill a man with your bare hands if you want, you don't need a gun.
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ok. now that he is gone you need to find forgiveness in your heart for him. people screw up.. and he is paying the consequences by losing his job and more importantly losing his friend . sorry all this happened to you keven.
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He called tonight. Not sure he fully understands how bad he f'd up. I tried to explain to him that my family now fears for their safety.
He was talking about confronting the guy if he finds him I had to literally yell at him that he needs to back away and go call the cops and keep his distance while he makes sure he doesn't leave. Not call cops he knows but call 911!! He kept saying he would take care of it. I explained to him that I WANT the cops involved and if he confronts him the guy will just disappear. I said "you already f'd up once, don't do it again" he took offense and said "Oh, I f'd up?!" I was like... YEAH, you brought the mf'er in my house!!... he then realized what I was saying. He's always scared he is gonna screw up.
He said it has him very depressed because he thought of us as family. The guy's real family has pretty much turned their back on him for being gay. I told him to make sure to keep taking his Zoloft (makes a HUGE difference in him) and to do what he could to find that guy and we could go from there.
Like I explained to the wife... I'm not excusing him but we've all done things we regret. As an 19 year old I remember a time that a "prophylactic" (is that clean enough?) broke and I knew but didn't stop... after she said "what if I get pregnant?" I realized right then how stupid that was. Honestly, that's a worse mistake than what this guy did... it could have affected both of our lives for ever!
I dodged the bullet on that one... but point is, we do stupid stuff and think with the wrong part sometimes.
Hey, sometimes people buy presses from the wrong guy even after being told over and over. ;)
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Time heals all wounds.
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Hey, sometimes people buy presses from the wrong guy even after being told over and over. ;)
Sure twist the knife a little will you :(
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Ouch, that was painful. Do you still have the press?
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Yea but it has three air leaks and is starting to sound worse than the javelin did.
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Crap, don't you have another press there? I thought you got an M&R?
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Gilligan, forgive him of course, but just don't allow him back. It sounds a lot like he doesn't understand what he did, and your wife and family deserve their safety. I understand the wanting to help; my partner and I kept hanging on to an employee that was riling the others up, until our most important one told us one day she was outta here unless he was fired. That's when WE woke up, called him and let him go five minutes later. I did not feel good about it, and still wonder if he's doing alright. But, he's not going to be coming back. And, he could do every job in the shop...
Steve
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Thats about what I said Steve you can still forgive him and stay friends but the trust will be gone. I would assume the guy did not nor thought anything was going to happen which is why he took the chance in the first place. Total lack of judgement on his part but he wasn't being malicious. He should have had atleast enough common sense to secure anything visible that is valuable first but thats all in retrospect.
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there is no way this post can be real. Absolutely no way.
dude, I will never eat a banana again without thinking I'm giving it a hummer. . .this post has wrecked my life. . . ;D
HA! Well, you do have that clip art in your signature with the two guys sort of doing something odd. I figured you'd be ok with the story. LOL.
Just poking fun at ya. Oh. Sorry. just "making" fun of ya.
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You know, after all that, did you stop to think that maybe, just maybe, they guy never had another mysterious guy at the house but actually took the guns himself and sold them? People do odd stuff during desperate times, even those you know.
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Sure it's possible, but there are other things of value that wouldn't be noticed as quickly. One if the guns he knows belongs at the shop so he'd know we would go right for it monday.
Plus my daughter had $1200 in cash in her bedroom.
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i guess a good question is, do you guys not know of things called safes and banks?
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We have a safe for documents... safe doesn't do much good for things that go bump in the night. I keep larger amounts of cash in the safe... the daughter is 17 and doesn't want to deal with a bank. She's a teenager, if you want to argue with her, I'll be glad to give you her number and you can have at it. She made a joke about something silly at my expense last night and I batted the old "and why didn't you do the dishes yesterday? and her response was "whatever"... I was like "REALLY?! you are going to take that approach to slacking on your chores?" I know we were just joking around but I certainly wouldn't get flippant when called out on not doing my duties. I might deflect and defer to something else but not get flippant. These kids just don't get it.
Later her mom asked if she would watch the baby while we went in the shop to do some work and I said "of course she will... since she didn't do the dishes when she was supposed to".
To her credit, she did get them done as soon as she got home from school that day without having to be "reminded". Little too late but still at least we didn't have to question her first.
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i felt so grown up when I had a bank account. I liked the freedom of not worrying about my money.
you could always shoot her laptop.
back to the topic at hand, is it possible his family didn't disown him simply because he was gay and rather a string of really bad choices like the one he made recently? He might bot have been honest about the reason him and his family don't talk. Just an idea.
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His family is extremely messy... he's the black sheep of the family in a GOOD way.
He doest neighbor hood watch (he's the captain), he's a snitch for the cops (he's just always in everyones business). The guy has had keys to my home, shop and business for over a year and has never done anything to make me question him.
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the black sheep in a good way...that's funny, i know people like that.
Actually, one of my dad's good friends is that way. When this guys' dad moved out, his uncle moved in. He actually punched his uncle and knocked him down the stairs at age 16 in order to toss him out of the house.. He got out of there as fast as he could.
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UPDATE!!
The detective got a confession out of him!
I don't get it... I guess he was high... why not cover your tracks better when you KNOW what you take will be discovered?! Mysterious guy never existed... one of his neighbors apparently came in and took them.. then the accomplice sold the guns and gave my guy weed as his cut.
Don't get it... the guy was always clean before... strange situation.
So he got arrested (detective told him I was willing to drop charges so there is less backlash on me) and is now trying to get the other guy in hopes to find the guns (I'm not holding my breath on that :( ).
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UPDATE!!
The detective got a confession out of him!
I don't get it... I guess he was high... why not cover your tracks better when you KNOW what you take will be discovered?! Mysterious guy never existed... one of his neighbors apparently came in and took them.. then the accomplice sold the guns and gave my guy weed as his cut.
Don't get it... the guy was always clean before... strange situation.
So he got arrested (detective told him I was willing to drop charges so there is less backlash on me) and is now trying to get the other guy in hopes to find the guns (I'm not holding my breath on that :( ).
Drop charges your ass. Roast that F_cker. He lied right to your face. Give him the same respect back and f_ck him right back. I might be an ass_hole.....lol
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Some things you don't let slide. I would've said maybe let it slide of he came upfront with the truth the first time around but since he didn't I say screw him
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Maybe you misunderstood me. The detective SAID I was willing to drop the charges.
But he was just making me look like the good guy and looking like the bad guy. Charges were filed, he was arrested.
I live in the same neighborhood with this guy and the accomplice and their families. I don't need backlash so if they can make it look like the parish (county) is the one doing the damage and I was trying to be "nice" then great. I got a family to worry about.
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Ok now I get it. You dropped the charges but the city/county is pressing charges. That makes sense.
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No, I think it's still on me... but the detective made it seem like it wasn't me.
He didn't lie, he just misled. ;)
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Wow, this story just got good.
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Glad my misfortune is there to amuse you. :(
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Wow
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the accomplish gave him weed then ask for the keys in the first place
told him... hand me the f... keys you rooster sucker mf lol
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I think it may have gone the other way around... They didn't take anything else... one of the guns was on my wife's jewelry box... nothing was taken.
Now there are some marks on the door frame that may have been from that guy knowing we were gone for the week trying to come back by himself and finish the job.
All three guns were right next to my laptop yet it wasn't taken.
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wow, I would hire somebody to finish the job for you, if oyu know what i mean
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What does that solve?
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your neighbor knows what you have in the house, what's to stop him from coming back by to get it? (isn't it your neighbor that tried to break back in?)
and you'll feel better. ;)
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I THINK that he just did it because he knew we weren't going to be home for the week. Sure, I could be wrong... but I'm installing a camera system (putting one at my shop anyway so might as well make it two right).
Not sure how much better I would feel... especially if they are now angry and would want "revenge". Let's face it, I don't think logic is the strong suit of the other party involved.
They chose a quick buck over a live long friendship and working relationship with people that ALWAYS made sure they were taken care of.
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While this story may be amusing to some I sympathize with you. I have a lot of experience with sketchy people and conducted evictions and asset seizure for a while. All I can say is that with a family and household you aren't going to pick up and move. It is incumbent upoun yourself to make your home secure and to protect the ones you love. I have had situations where there were guns stolen (from properties that were not mine) and I engaged everyone I had contact with appropriately. By that I mean I carried a gun on my person at all times. It seems extreme, but you reference other family members and express some concern about retribution. You might consider applying for a concealed weapons permit. Even in restrictive states it is straightforward for individuals to obtain said permit with justification. Only you can say whether that is an over the top response. But I am licensed and carry a firearm regularly. My family is my priority and I have made every effort to make sure that they are safe. Camera systems are fine when you are not at home for prevention and evidence. An alarm lets you know if someone has entered in your absence and may be present when you enter. They also warn you when you are not alert. These times of stress will pass, but if you are uncertain regarding your safety it is your responsibility to be prepared. The police are good about responding to calls, but in the end they take time and our country was founded on the concept of self reliance. I have had issues with drug addicts and thieves and I will never underestimate their ability to do things that are incredibly stupid. The taking of weapons and not valuables would not make me more complacent. If you feel at all threatened get a concealed weapons permit and secure your premises. Don't make the evening news as a victim. Over reacting is bad, but being unprepared is just foolish. I had hassles with cartel members, so it was no joke. Makes screen printing seem uncomplicated!
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You are right.
In my state you don't need a concealed license to carry... you have to carry open but you can carry. I did from time to time. I just have to replace the weapons now.
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Funniest story yet! Last time our factory got burgled the only thing they took was a rifle. We've been robbed in the past from staff too, whenever we move to a new factory it's in my head to put a full set of cameras recording to hard drive in as systems are pretty cheap now. Doesn't help when it's people you trust and you can't go through life not trusting people and not end up too bitter yourself.