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General => General Discussion and ??? => Topic started by: rmonks on December 12, 2012, 09:48:23 AM
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It being the Christmas Season always puts me in the mood to help and give to those in need. I recently printed shirts for a High School band about a $600 order. I got wind that they were having difficulty raising the money to pay for them. So me being the good guy I am, I give them the shirts NO CHARGE. To this day not a person in the Band or at the School has as much as said THANK YOU
Guess im from the old school
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So you gave something away expecting something in return and get upset when you got nothing..
That is called a covert contract
Next time give from the heart and expect nothing in return, you'll feel better.
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I Still call BULLSH*T on that one John...where is the FU*KING respect these days...I was raised to say thank you and please..I raise my kids that way..heck we just moved and the neighbor brought over cookies ( they were awesome btw ) and a little Christmas wreath and we sat down and had the kids make a card and we all brought it over...that is what people do..they say thank you!..
that is one of the problems with our nation right now...it is give me give me give me...
sam
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gotta side with sam on that one. maybe they should bring back those old videos on politeness and hygiene. instead kids get sex ed AFTER they have already learned all about it on the internet and sent/received tons of sexts.
Yup, we're doing a great job.
One of Ava's first words was thank you...and she knows please really well.
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You may want to double check that nobody is continuing to collect money and/or acting as if you've already been paid. Sounds a little fishy to me.
I'll say it though--thanks for helping out the band. I would have been stoked if anyone had done such a thing when I was in high school.
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You may want to double check that nobody is continuing to collect money and/or acting as if you've already been paid. Sounds a little fishy to me.
This.
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that is one of the problems with our nation right now...it is give me give me give me...
I think Sam had a seizure. :(
I side with John, never give with expecting something in return, otherwise what is the meaning of giving?
Tho I do agree it is sad to not get some type of acknowledgment
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You gotta remember, band nerd types, aspergery, not so good with the social skills etc....
from a former band nerd....
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You know...maybe they dont know you gave them to them...
I donated shirts to the girls basketball coach here..he said make sure i put my logo on the back with " Shirts provided by:" ..he said if i didn't everyone would just assume the school bought and paid for them..which he is correct.
My 70 year old father in law in Texas said when he does anything nice he doesnt expect anything in return...he says thats how it is nowadays....it is pretty sad...
You know rmonk..i bet they just dont know you did that..
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he didn't expect a gift in return, he expected a thank you. My neighbor gets really pissed if you don't say thanks. I agree with him. It's made me even more aware of saying thanks.
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I really don't see a problem with him being disappointed in not being thanked, it's really a slap in the face. The coach or whomever received them and passed them out shout should have let everyone know that someone did something for them for no good reason other than helping out. It happens here all the time, do a favor for a customer, and no mention or thank you, like it's expected. Of course, it doesn't make me stop helping, but it does confirm my belief that deep down inside, people suck. I'm old school too I guess (probably because I'm old)
Steve
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There should still be a thank you. Yes, it is true to give a gift without receiving anything in return, but common courtesy dictates a thank you. Manners have gone out the window these days.
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I really don't see a problem with him being disappointed in not being thanked, it's really a slap in the face. The coach or whomever received them and passed them out shout should have let everyone know that someone did something for them for no good reason other than helping out. It happens here all the time, do a favor for a customer, and no mention or thank you, like it's expected. Of course, it doesn't make me stop helping, but it does confirm my belief that deep down inside, people suck. I'm old school too I guess (probably because I'm old)
Steve
Yep, I'm agreeing with Sam and the conservative bunch on this one.
He's not even asking for the "Thanks", he's merely saying he's disappointed he didn't get one. Even if it is semi-flipped scenario and someone gives you a cookie for FREE... would you not still be disappointed inside if it was burnt or tasted awful? You may not have a right to be "mad" about it, but you can certainly be disappointed!
I never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Another example is my mother who used to be super awesome when I lived at home (not that she's not super awesome now though). She used to bring me a plate of food after she cooked, UPSTAIRS. She didn't have to do that.. I ALWAYS said "thank you". Now the ironic part is that she would never bring me a drink. So then I had to go downstairs anyway, this was not a complaint in anyway. It just didn't make sense for her to waste her time. She could have just yelled "supper's ready" and I would have been just as happy. But how can you explain that to the woman that just brought you up a plate of hot delicious food? ;)
Speaking of kids... my 2.5 year old just asked my wife to get her one of the chocolate covered donuts from this morning (given to us, and I said "thank you") and when my wife said "sure" she immediately said "Thank you" in her all too cute manner. But that is because we have taught her that.
Hell, I say Ma'am and Sir, please and thank you to the drive through people at Taco Bell. Just because they are slinging terrible food for minimum wage doesn't mean they don't deserve the same respect I would give anyone else!
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really? Gilligan and I agreed on something? it must be 12-12-12
aahhahahdhhahahahahah
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Yeah they all 60 of the kids knew they were free, and I'm not mad I was simply amazed that not a one said thanks , I guess it is just the way it is now days.
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I really like the idea of.....
If you're going to do something for free, why not print "Shirts provided by......."?
Then don't expect a Thank You..................but maybe some new business down the road.
That's my story....and I'm sticking to it.
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really? Gilligan and I agreed on something? it must be 12-12-12
aahhahahdhhahahahahah
Holy crap... that's TWO things we agree on now... and not a minute too soon for me. ;)
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he didn't expect a gift in return, he expected a thank you.
my point exactly!
He gave and expected something, anything, to validate his kindness. When they didn't acknowledge his 'gift' he let himself get upset or 'disappointed' about it. "How dare they! I gave them 600 bucks of free shiet and they didn't even say thank you.. ROAAARRRR!!!! "" HOW DARE THEY!! I'LL SHOW EM, I'LL POST ABOUT IT ON THE INTERWEBS WHERE OTHER PEEPS WILL AGREE WITH ME.. RARRRGGHH!!! That alllowed him to shift the blame from himself onto the custy making them look like the bad guy. That blame being allowing his feelings or what he feels about the matter to get the better of him rather than just gain happiness from the gift knowing the smiles on the kids faces just made their day.
It's a classic nice guy victim puke filled with spin and blame shift..
Give from the heart with no expectation of anything in return, that is a true gift.
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John
I really don't think it is about expecting anything it is about how shitty our Nation is right now...I read daily about this and that...where is the respect of human nature to say a quick thank you here and there...or be polite and hold a door open for someone or to pull your pants up in public...
right now I see our nation as hurting and noone there to lead and expect us to treat each other with respect!
but then again...lets keep it the way it is..
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John
I really don't think it is about expecting anything it is about how shitty our Nation is right now...I read daily about this and that...where is the respect of human nature to say a quick thank you here and there...or be polite and hold a door open for someone or to pull your pants up in public...
right now I see our nation as hurting and noone there to lead and expect us to treat each other with respect!
but then again...lets keep it the way it is..
Well, flip side of that Sam is when a leader does show respect to other's he's treated like he just surrendered the country by respecting their customs. ;) Again, can't win for losing it seems.
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When a president tries to ease the pressure of a poor economy and an economic crash he is accused of giving gifts. But not in a nice way.
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Besides what the hell does a president have to do with Social etiquette?
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John
I really don't think it is about expecting anything it is about how shitty our Nation is right now...I read daily about this and that...where is the respect of human nature to say a quick thank you here and there...or be polite and hold a door open for someone or to pull your pants up in public...
right now I see our nation as hurting and noone there to lead and expect us to treat each other with respect!
but then again...lets keep it the way it is..
You're absolutely right Sam.. things have gone to crap, in a hand basket and someone forgot the thank you note.
The only thing YOU can do, is be OK with it. Man up and just keep doing what YOU feel is the right thing to do and let everyone else do what it is they do and don't let it bother you. When you let it bother you, it takes up mental space that could be better used for something else.
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On the flip side to that John is Brad, he said his neighbor gets pissed about someone not saying thank you and that has made him more conscious of saying thank you now. So being pissed off and complaining has improved the world a tiny bit.
In college I vaguely remember a short story we were forced to read called "Why Complain", I don't remember the author unfortunately but it basically talked about how sometimes the simplest things could be correct if only someone would speak up and complain. But if you don't say anything then it's possible everyone just assumes everyone else is ok with it and why should they be the one to speak up and complain. One of their simple examples was the temperature on a bus ride. Some people just assumed the AC was broken, some assumed it must have just been them that was hot. Finally someone said something and they turned on the AC and everyone was relieved.
I'm not suggesting everyone whine all the time, but a legit complaint is completely respectable.
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gilligan, we can no longer agree because it isn't 12-12-12....(but I actually agree with what you said 100%)
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What does the President have to do with IT? everything! he is the one who sits there and says Travon Martin is what my kid would look like...really a thug? someone who gets kicked out of school on a regular basis? that is what your son would look like...he is the one setting the tone..he is the one people look for in leadership as the leader of the free world...he is the LEADER not a follower...
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Getting off topic but what about when he does Lead and shows proper etiquette when visiting foreign leaders and then gets blasted for it?
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You know Gilligan, when you go off doin' all kind of whackadoodle stuff like AGREEING with "The Conservative Bunch" all you do is diffuse the ILL WILL you've been carefully crafting lo these many moons. ;)
The problem here, as I see it, is with the leadership. Mr Band Master or his lackeys didn't handle this wonderful gift properly. It is an opportunity for him to learn something VERY important, and the kiddos. Send the guy a link to the thread.
I used to be a High School Band Instructor, 15 years.
And as a proud, card carrying member of theshirboard.com's "The Conservative Bunch" (insert more winky's here) I do hereby proclaim this thread as Required Reading for every giver of a gift, and also all recipients of gifts, forevermore, amen. (I feel sooo powerful) Cause you are ALL right....at least in part. I didn't read one post that didn't express at least a slice of how I feel about it, depending on how I hold my head.
These kids entered the world, just like us...knowing NOTHING about ANYTHING. We've gotta teach them, and the collective "WE" absolutely suck as teachers nowadays, I guess....
WHAT A TEACHABLE MOMENT THIS IS!
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I do what I can... but sometimes I "slip". ;)
Let me try harder.
Sam can we at least agree that the Travon Martin comment was on par with Mr. Bush's trying to "sympathize" with the Katrina victims by talking about how his good buddy Trent Lott lost ONE of his houses in the storm as well. ONE of his houses, while other people lost EVERYTHING they owned and their entire history, he's relating because his buddy lost ONE of his many multi-million dollar homes. At least he could fake "common man" better than Romney. ;)
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What does the President have to do with IT? everything! he is the one who sits there and says Travon Martin is what my kid would look like...really a thug? someone who gets kicked out of school on a regular basis? that is what your son would look like...he is the one setting the tone..he is the one people look for in leadership as the leader of the free world...he is the LEADER not a follower...
I am seriously rolling my eyes.
I dont look to my president to set the tone on how we act in society thats naive. He is an elected official that has much bigger fish to fry than to worry about how we say thank you. And seriously why would you stereotype Travon Martin because of the way he looked? My kid can grow up and have any look he wants if someone stereotypes him then they are douche. There is a difference between looking like something and actually being something, but you wouldn't understand that Sam since everyone is garbage in your eyes unless they fit your idealistic human being mold. Travon Martin was being harassed and he did exactly what I would have done, piss on any one that does not agree with it.
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keep being ignorant Mike...that is what our gov't likes...
if you don't think that we should have social norms set by leaders in the community and our nation...then fu*k it..we should just let anyone do anything anytime....sounds good to me...
and Mike are you afraid you don't stack up to my views of what successful people are? hmmmmm makes you think....
but then again what do I know...
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How in the hell does the President set examples, thats done by us the parents and our on character as people. I don't see the President everday or talk to him, but I do teach my sons how to be respectable young men as I was taught at a young age, now that is is whats lost. I,m going to stick my foot in the sand on this, every since Obama has been President I seen more disrespect to office than any other time I,ve been living. Now just don't blame one man the blame goes to all of us in how we live and raise our children, thank you and please comes from that plain and simple. One thing that I,ve learn over the years is when you go outta your way to help someone that someone becomes the worse nightmare, and you wish you had did nothing, so expect nothing cuz is not being taught anymore.
Darryl
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Your Right D...the president is a pos and does not do anything finally someone agrees with me...
on a serious note....It is not only the President and as I said LEADERS..whether it is a parent, pastor, teacher ect....that is where we learn..heck in some households you only have 1 parent and kids look up to people who are leaders for how to treat people, how to act in socially ect.
But then again what do I know...I am just a stupid over privilege kid.....
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What does the President have to do with IT? everything! he is the one who sits there and says Travon Martin is what my kid would look like...really a thug? someone who gets kicked out of school on a regular basis? that is what your son would look like...he is the one setting the tone..he is the one people look for in leadership as the leader of the free world...he is the LEADER not a follower...
...oh cmon, really Sam? What about all that "personal responsibility" stuff the Right likes to lean on when it suits their needs? This is a real stretch, even for you, at taking a pot-shot at the Prez, Get real man. Parenting starts, AND ENDS, with the parents!!
...Besides, certainly you arent saying that people like Romney, McCain, and Bush were any sort of leaders. They all had so many corporate hands up their rear-ends, it would make Jim Henson jealous.
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But then again what do I know...I am just a stupid over privilege kid.....
...Godd for you! Acceptance is the first step toward recovery... ;D
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I can't figure out whether to split this thread, or just let it go, but it has wandered so far astray, I'm locking it with Sam's recognition of his status as the last word. ;D
Damn, I wasn't quick enough. but apparently, great minds think alike
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If any of you wish to continue in this vein, please take it to the cage. And for those of you who want to play but have not yet opted in to the Controversy Cage, drop me a line, and I'll add you.